blink.

And in the blink of an eye, it all changes.

Something is said and it's back to the beginning.




We're talking again, and I am whole. That fracture in me is restored.
I smiled when I woke up this morning. I thought it was all a dream, but I was wrong.
No one knows how long it will be this way, but in the now I am good.
I am happy.


I am just not ready to share everything.
Maybe one day I won't write so cryptically.
But that day isn't today.

As I sit

I sit in my Dad's truck, which smells like death and 32 lbs of onions left over from the weekend, eating a not-so-healthy bunch of curly fries (yum) listening to a man sing to me who sounds as pained as I'm feeling wondering if I will ever be happy alone. When will I be happy again? Actually happy? Will I be ok just me?

Then I hear honking, a police car whiz by and a van barely pull over for it as it races by in the opposite direction . I then realize that I have next to nothing to worry about. Life will be fine. It goes on.

Huh.

It has been waaaaaay too long since I've posted.

I'd like to say that I've been too busy to post, but that would be such a fib.

I've either a.)forgotten or b.)not wanting to share.

A LOT has been happening in my life, and I think I'm almost ready to share.

Or vent.

Well, both.


Almost.

long time no type

It has been ages, I know.
I'm sure no one noticed my absense, but I wasn't feeling the blog bug. Now I'm getting it back! I need an outlet somewhere..
Things have definitely been changing a LOT lately.
I used to think for the better. But more of that later on.

I took my girls on a Youth Retreat this past weekend and they had a blast! (well, that's what they told me)
It made me so happy to have fun and being together, hopefully finding Christ somewhere along the way.
It was a great refresh for me as well. So much going through the brain, it was nice for a little relax.

Next week is the last week of normal life before a month of crazy co-op/work 12 hour days.
I'll let ya know how THAT goes.

Just wanted to let you know I'm still alive! Got a great rest of the week planned. God is great. <3

2012

I can't believe its January 7th already. A week ago we were driving up to the GTA to celebrate with our friends the start of a new year. It came and went, and so did another 6 days!

I am so ready for this new year, I am so happy with it so far!

I have been working quite a bit and although it's quiet, I do love my job. The boyfriend and I are in a very good place right now. I'm sure we were both feeling as if we were a bit touch and go for a while, we are definitely over that (thank the Lord) and I'm happier than ever. I don't know whether him/I am more forgiving, better at communication or I'm just over the little things but it's so much better.

I came in to the new year in quite a tiff with one of my good friends. When I was looking back on 2011 when we were about to ring in 2012, this argument was the only thing that I was 'regreting'. Thankfully, it has been resolved and we are also in a new, happier place I feel.

My main New Years Resolution (other than health&fitness) is communication. I will admit I was one of those girlfriends who would get very upset because 'he doesn't see that I'm mad even though I never actually said out loud that I was upset but he should be able to read my mind!'

Good one. How he put up with that I don't know.

I know now that I need to say what I'm thinking! How is anyone supposed to know what I think or how something is hurting me if I don't say it? I'm not dating a mind reader. (although most of the time he knows more what I'm trying to say than I do. Go figure) It's only fair for me to communicate. I realize that I need to do that more often. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying what is going on! If you don't like something, say it! I know people have said it to me and it has hurt my feelings. I don't want to hurt feelings and there's a way to be polite but also be honest. I did this with my friend last night and our tiff was resolved. How much better to get it out in the open and get over it and move on! I would be very upset if we hadn't figured things out. She's one of my best friends. After talking, I think we realized that there were things we both would have done differently and I'm just glad we can move on and chalk it up as experience.

All in all I am SO ready for 2012, I'll post more about my other NYR later...hopefully I can make more positive progress towards my goal! Hopefully.